This may be a trite generalization, but it doesn’t make it any less true. By understanding who a person surrounds themselves with in terms of friends, subordinates, co-workers, partners, including significant others, and associates, you can tell a lot about who that person is and what they’re about. For example, someone who surrounds themselves with subordinates that have no backbone is without question someone that is very insecure. If this person attained a lofty position then it shows you that this person is not only insecure, but also very good at politics, deflecting blame, claiming credit and, in general, a very slimy, but above average intelligent being for the organization that this person belongs to. The person is likely to also have very thin skin, a tyrant on the surface, but likely someone who couldn’t make a decision to save their life.

Then there are those that have some people that are willing to  challenge them but won’t listen to them or only listen to them when they agree. These people are typically not only superficial, but also pretentious people who may or may not be insecure and have some intellectual capacity and individual success. However, in many cases, their individual success was either obtained through blind luck or most likely by taking credit for things that others – typically subordinates – accomplished. In many cases, despite their undue interference and idiotic management. One of the many telltale signs of such people is that they tend to make decisions on an arbitrary basis, through some made up criteria, which changes from one decision point to the next, or they randomly distribute their decision so they appear to be fair.

In business, you want to identify those that have a consistent criteria for making decisions that not only make sense, but also stands the test of time. You also want to see some one that can not only admit when they’re wrong, but also have the ability to adapt to changing situations and adopt other people’s ideas and suggestions when it make sense, while making sure credit goes to those that deserve it. They are also going to foster and grow talent knowing that one day that their subordinates could become their superiors. These people will also really listen to ideas and suggestions that make sense but won’t discourage anyone on their team that make a bad suggestion or offer a bad idea for consideration. They will also be quick to praise others in public, but criticize only in private and in such a manner that doesn’t destroy the other person’s ego or confidence.

Similarly, when looking for friends, you’re going to want to choose those people that have the right Six Pillars (morals, values, ethics, integrity, honor, and honesty) and those that surround themselves with those that have the right Six Pillars. When you see someone that surround themselves with “friends” that don’t stand for anything, doesn’t want to alienate anyone and only care about “having fun,” these people also aren’t likely to be loyal, won’t have an honest bone in their body (mostly through “white” lies), and will “make” friends and shed friends depending on other people’s opinions, social convenience, and frequency of contact. If you find people like this then you’re going to want to know who they are not friends with and look into making friends with these people. Regardless, these “social butterflies” typically have no real opinions, never stick their neck out, want an easy path to everything, will be “creative” with truth, and will never go out of their way to help, unless there’s a deep ulterior motive. Most people reading this post should be able to identify and categorize at least half of their “friends” in this category. What’s wrong with that? As long as this group of people are accepted and even encouraged to exist, very few things that are wrong with this country will ever get fixed.

Then there’s almost the exact opposite of the social-butterfly-types. What I refer to as the “stonewall” types. These people are more than just bulls-in-a-china-shop. They have huge chips on their shoulders, tend to be know-it-alls, aren’t really good at listening or are very good at pretending to listen, are very high and mighty, will argue to the death by coming up with one bad argument or another, and revel in destroying other’s arguments or making others look small. Interestingly enough, these people make better friends than the social butterflies, but are still miserable people. These people, despite their exterior visage, are insecure, thin-skinned, vindictive, i.e., holds a “grudge,” have huge chips on their shoulders, have an inferiority complex, but fake superiority, and have little to no real substance. Personality-wise these people are abrasive, dismissive, pretentious bullies, but are easily manipulated, if you know how. They also tend to be very, very stubborn, which can make them loyal, but also very, very foolish. These people like a “yes” person for their spouse, love being admired and respected, and surround themselves with weak minded, unthinking automatons (i.e., sheep) that comprise the majority or second majority of people in this country. Regardless, the bully types are more prevalent than people expect – look at the postings on the internet – but regardless aren’t as common as the social-butterfly-types, and sheep.

Also, don’t forget that in order to attract the right friends and the right spouse for yourself, you have to be the person that your ideal friend or spouse is looking for. For example, this means that if you are a rare but very precious and beautiful Blue Tiger then don’t hide the fact that you are a Blue Tiger, no matter what others say, or how much they taunt, tease, or mock the fact that you are different. If you hide the fact that you are a Blue Tiger, another Blue Tiger that happens by will never be able to tell that you are a Blue Tiger and will move on. And, even if you were to spot the other Blue Tiger before they spot you, if you’ve hidden the fact that you are a Blue Tiger, they’ll never believe that you are one. And, if you do hide the fact that you’re a Blue Tiger then are you really a Blue Tiger? Advertise, be proud, and be who you’re truly meant to be.

This may make you feel lonely for long stretches of time, but when you find that other Blue Tiger, the wait will have been well worth it, for both of you. Always be true to yourself; never try or actually be something or someone that you’re not, because this will only lead to misery or depression. Like a leopard that cannot change its spots or a zebra that cannot change its strips, how crazed will you become trying to be someone or something that you cannot? And, how torturous will your life be? How difficult and taxing will it be to maintain your pretense and superficial facade? Finally, how crazed or depressed will you be when you realize that what you tried to be cannot be realized? So, why bother? To fit in? Never.

The way you fit in is to be you and find others that appreciate you for how you are and why you are. By definition, being exceptional means that there are precious few others that are in your league, so, again, by definition, if you are a rare few exceptional people, no matter how that exceptionalism is manifested, be proud, be loud, and be known. This is the only way that others that are in your same league will see you, hear you, and be drawn to you.

So, in terms of marriage the important factors are the person’s Six Pillars, personality, interests, and sexual compatibility. But that’s another subject at another time.

For more, please read my books, “… Under the Constitution with Liberty and Justice for ALL,” available at and also available on Kindle, and “The New Constitution for Modern America,” available at and also available on Kindle. Please don’t forget to rate this post. Any comments or questions are welcome and can be left for me on this blog, @Ahmedinejahd on Twitter, on Facebook or via email at Thank you in advance for buying my books, and rating this post. And, thanks for visiting my blog; I hope you get an opportunity to read my other posts. Have a great day!